Guns and Bows
by Albert'sLinguine
Summary: Voldemort is defeated at the end of Book 1. Harry is now in 5th year. Two new characters appear and take Hogwarts and the Wizarding World by storm.
1. Prologue

Prologue

**Amelia's POV**

When I stop and think about it, the whole thing really wasn't our fault. The timing just happened to be perfect. The Wizarding World was rejoicing because Voldemort had finally been defeated and the time of chaos and confusion was over. Life continued and a few years passed peacefully, while the Boy-Who-Lived continued his education at Hogwarts. Nobody was expecting anything big until The Savior of the Wizarding World was old enough to marry. And of course they were wrong.

See, what was wrong about the story of Harry Potter, is that despite their help, female characters too a backseat while the men went off and fought dragons and all that 'heroic' stuff. This is the story of how two remarkably 'normal' girls took over the Wizarding World. Literally.


	2. Chapter 1

**Hello little sunflowers! It's Amelia. :) Here's the first chapter, you'll hear more from Johanna in the second one.**

**(…) = Just a little comment from the character as they're telling the story**

Chapter 1

**Amelia's POV**

The popcorn supply in the pantry was gone. This of course called for an immediate trip to the store to restock the snack foods and get more candy. While I was out buying the necessary sustenance for our kitchen, Johanna was at home doing whatever Johanna felt like doing. I returned home to find Johanna examining the oven.

"What are you doing?"

"Determining which parts of this oven are absolutely necessary." she replied without removing her head from inside the piece of kitchenware.

"What're you going to do to the parts that aren't?"

"Remove them so they can be used for a project."

At the word 'project' I decided not to ask any more questions. When Johanna is feeling creative, you let her be creative. The doorbell rang. Since Johanna now had her shoulders as well as her head inside of the disconnected oven, I decided it would be best if I answered the door. Before I opened the door I stopped in front of the mirror hanging in the entrance hall.

Pigtails…Check.

Bright, pink bows… Check.

Cute, innocent smile…Check.

Tall, strappy stilettos…I should probably take those off.

Showtime.

I opened the door to find two men in suits. Deciding the straightforward approach was best, I said,

"Are you here to talk about Jesus? Because we already told your friends no, we don't have any spare livers that you can borrow."

From the matching look of shock on both of their faces I assumed they didn't know that their creepy, one-eyed friends had already visited us. Deciding to cut this unnecessary and irrelevant meeting short, I quickly said,

"Thank you, have a nice day." and went to close the door.

Before the door could fully shut, one of the men stuck out their arm and slammed it into the door. The door swung back so quickly that the doorknob dented the wall. Now I was getting annoyed. I had been nothing but polite to them and they go and dent the wall. The rude behavior didn't end there. I backed up to examine the extent of the damage caused by the doorknob, when both of them just step into the house like they own the place. Before I could tell them off or kick them where the sun don't shine, the taller one opened his mouth and stated,

"Excuse me ma'am. We are police and have come to investigate a noise disturbance reported by your neighbors."

The tall, lanky one with blonde hair seemed to be more on the side of cocky rather than confident. Both of them were wearing those weird sunglasses that you see in cop shows.

But that comment about the neighbors seemed sketchy. The house on the right was empty and old people occupied every other house on the street. And I'm not talking about the grumpy kind, but the kind that make really nice grandmas and grandpas. Deciding to put my foot down on this the best I could, I said,

"Can I see the search warrant and your badges?"

"You don't need to see that stuff and you wouldn't even understand it anyway," replied the tall one again. He was quickly becoming quite irritating.

At that moment Johanna decided to come around the corner into the hallway and to the shock of our new guests she was holding a large butcher knife. I knew from that moment that things were only going to go downhill. We all watched as the knife slipped from her hand and seemed to fall in slow motion towards the floor. It went through Johanna's shoe and stuck in the floor straight up.

We all just stood there for a moment until Johanna muttered, "Ow."

The tall man rushed over to her in order to see if she had lost any appendages or if the knife went straight through her foot. (Funny, I guess he does have a considerate side.) But the strangest part was that the short man just sort of stood there and appeared to be hyperventilating. Why was he panicking? He wasn't the one who just got stabbed. It got a little crazy after that.

I watched as the small chubby one pulled his wand out pointing it at Johanna (yes I know what a wand is) and yelled, "_Stupefy!_" Johanna fell to the floor immediately.

After that everyone seemed to freeze. I could see that both men appeared to be going into some kind of shock after the recent events. One glance at Johanna and I could tell she was still conscious (for reasons you will eventually know) but I was guessing that she wasn't sure if she should let the men know. (After all they did practically break into our house, who knows their real motives.)

The tall man turned and looked at Johanna lying on the floor and proceeded to flip out. It was like a grown man's temper tantrum. He was screaming his head off at the shorter and for pulling out his wand to hex a person they hadn't confirmed as guilty. (I could've guessed he was slightly unstable with his sudden mood swings.) His arm swung out and hit the innocent vase resting on top of a side table in the hallway. I watched as the vase fell through the air and collided with the back of Johanna's head. (The poor girl must have done something to mess with karma today.) The vase shattered and I knew she was knocked out.

At this point I believe the fat man finally remembered I was also in the hallway. He turned and stared me straight in the eye and I think that was his breaking point. In a crazy (and slightly desperate) move I wouldn't have seen coming in a million years, the fat man yanked the mirror off the wall and flung it at my head. I saw the mirror heading towards my face and all I could do was turn it slightly to the side and hope that my face wouldn't be hit too hard.


	3. Chapter 2

**J: Salutations patrons! Here ya go, next chapter for my homies. **

Chapter 2

**Johanna's POV**

Here's the thing,I didn't plan on blacking out. In fact my plan was to fake it and surprise attack those dimwits so they would peace out.

But now I'm here. And so is Amelia. And to the normal person we would appear to be completely screwed, trapped and handcuffed in an investigation room by the Aurors. But we aren't as normal as we appear, so maybe we still have the element of surprise on our side…

"Would you please just answer our questions and we'll be out of your hair?" the man asked. I almost forgot that they were attempting to interrogate us. Amelia was scared out of her mind, not having expected to be knocked out and captured either. So I flashed her a glance letting her know that it was okay, I'd handle it, and that she could relax.

"Yes…" I smiled, however I still refused to look them in the eye.

"Well then… give us some answers!" The short one was trying to appear commanding. Perhaps he was compensating for something?

"Your question was if I could answer your questions, right? And so I can, so I responded stating just that." I knew I was being intolerably sarcastic and I knew it would frustrate at least the short guy who has previously proven to have a masculinity insecurity.

"Our other question, you smart aleck!" There it was. Although now I thought it was only fair to be blatantly honest with him.

"To be frank, I wasn't paying attention while you were babbling before. I'd ask you to repeat the question but I'm not entirely sure that I care, and well, that's your problem. Maybe if you hadn't assaulted me with a vase to the head I wouldn't have trouble remembering things. Maybe you should consider that unnecessary offense before you start expecting me to give you what you want. I want to know why we are here. I think it would be wise for you to answer me."

"I'm sorry but that's classified information." the tall, conceited one declared.

"Oh isn't that a gag!" I turned and laughed with Amelia so she'd calm down and the aurors would see neither of us gave a flying fanny. I continued, "Isn't that just fresh! I love your creative energy, honestly, its not like I've heard that a million times before on some crime show or neo noir. Seriously I have a right to know why I am being held captive. While I can appreciate your jests I think it would be best for us all to cut to the chase. So cough up the information like a hairball, pussy-cat."

My English teacher taught me all about the poetic influences that similes had, but I think it was the nickname that did it.I needed to know what they knew about us. They had us handcuffed, so either they were smart enough to abandon their magical tactics, or were just trying to be safe because they were surprised and baffled by us. So I needed to figure out which it was to know what I was working with. Amelia by now was zoned out and humming boy band songs. Oh Amelia.

"Young lady, i don't think you understand your place. You have no right to be demanding things from officials." The short one took over while the tall guy recovered from my sick burn. Smells like toast in here am I right?

"Officials…of what? NYPD? CIA? FBI? BBC? SAT? HIV?..?" I knew that they didn't want us to realize that the Aurors had very little clues about our identities. I still didn't know how much it was that they knew, but they were treating this like a normal government case. Now was my chance to tempt them out of cover.

Amelia had had her handcuffs unlocked for a while now, as did I, so all I had to do was give her a cue.

"By the way, I forgot to tell you, Amelia, I really like that bracelet of yours!"

"Thanks Johanna! I got it from my Grandma when she went to Tiffany's!" Amelia brought her hand forward and started admiring her bracelet.

The two Auror idiots were immediately startled and made their way to apprehend her. Seeing my chance, I went into my pockets, grabbed its contents and threw them at the floor. There was a spark and a bit of smoke that took the two aurors by surprise. They pulled out their wands and fired at us blindly through the smoke. They were desperate. They knew it wasn't going to work but lets face it. When you're scared you'll try anything just in case.

In the smoke and darkness that filled the small room, Amelia was easily able to beat up and incapacitate the two. She's just so darn swift. (A: am I sensing sarcasm, Johanna?) You'd never expect that strength coming from such a small girl. I still think it's a power she summoned from her bows, but who knows?

We handcuffed them to the chairs just as the smoke alarms started to go off. Amelia kicked down the door, although she didn't need to. (A: dramatics are always necessary!) I thought we were in some sort of agency building, but in reality we were just inside a warehouse room. Probably so they wouldn't have the risk of us running into other people and spilling 'classified' information. I didn't have much time to process exactly where we were because we were being pursued by at least three back up aurors. Neither of us knew how long of a run it'd be to a safe place but we were going to get there somehow.

I looked at Amelia as she tightened her bow and cracked her neck in preparation. I zipped up my sweatshirt and then we set out running.

This is not what I meant when I said "cut to the chase".


End file.
